like a child

Nearly two years ago our lives were turned upside down and blessed in equal measure with the arrival of our beautiful daughter. We decided a while back that the time was right to try for a baby. We chose a sperm donor who was also a friend because we wanted the baby to know their routes and several months of preparation later we began the process of actively trying for a child. 
However, as with all the best laid plans, things did not go according to plan as in the same week we began trying for a baby we discovered that my partner had AML (Acute Myloid Leukaemia) It had been coming on for a while but we had no idea that either she was sick or in fact that I was already pregnant! 
She beat the leukaemia once after four rounds of chemo and whilst I was pregnant. Some days I would take her into hospital for her treatment and then run down the corridor to be sick in the loo. Two weeks before the baby arrived we were told the leukaemia was back again and this time needed a bone marrow transplant. They gave us 2 weeks grace on the start of treatment to give her the chance of being at the birth and thankfully she was there and able to be at home for a week before going into hospital for her next treatment. Three rounds of chemo and then the transplant, during which Debbie nearly died, and we had a 10 month old baby and a massive battle ahead of us. 
I tell you all this because I need you to understand what a miracle our baby felt like, she survived the early stages of pregnancy despite all the stress, she was a light of beauty and hope in a very dark time, and she arrived against the odds. I'm not saying it was easy, but one look at her beautiful face each day and we all felt like we could do it, like we could face anything. I learn so much from her despite the fact she is yet unable to even put a basic sentence together, and I want to share two things that she showed me just the other day. 

Each day when we get up we go downstairs and we feed the cats, Emily (the toddler) helps me to give vegetable treats to the guinea pigs that live in our conservatory. Then every morning  she runs to the large cat scratching post and 'hides' in between the posts and every day I pretend that I can't see her and try and find her. Then with great glee she comes out from her hidey hole and shouts 'boo' and I pretend to be all shocked. It doesn't matter how many times we do this she believes me when I say I can't see her and she loves playing this game. She has an unquestioning trust in me and our game that we play. 

The second thing that day came when we were playing with her new set of bricks she got for Christmas. They have horses and fairy princesses in the set and she discovered the joys of building with them rather than knocking things down. The thing is what she built, to her it seemed completely plausible that brick on brick on horse on brick on unicorn with a baby horse on top was a perfectly normal and acceptable thing to happen. 
Oh if only our relationship with God could be so, unquestioning trust and not restricted by the limitations of our mind. The time in our lives when we learned the most was before the age of five, not just because there is so much to learn but also because we explore and question and try things with abandon and trusted our care givers without question. Our minds were sponges and we took in every detail and just found the world to be a wonderful place. 
I know this is simplistic and that life is far more complicated than this, that we have all been shaped by our experiences, damaged by life's twists and turns. But maybe when Jesus said you must become like children in order to enter the New Realm of God I think he may have had something. As I believe that the Realm of God is in fact here and present and is available to us, approaching being a part of it like a child makes complete sense. That sense of openness and trust, a sense of adventure and experimentation, the more I learn from the way our little girl looks at the world, the more I feel I am growing and deepening my relationship with God. I fully believe that children can see things that we cannot and that over time we shut down and see less and less of the Sacred in the world around us. But let us take a leaf out of the book of a lively toddler, stack unicorns on horses on bricks, hide in full sight yet believe we cannot be seen, I am sure that we will see so much more of God if we do. 

I may be teaching Emily colours and numbers but the truth is that she is teaching me far more about life and the world than I am teaching her and I am loving every moment of this new and exciting perspective. 
Stay blessed
Rev R x